By Meggin Rutherford, JD
There are a lot of misconceptions about collaborative divorce. Don’t fall into the traps below:
- Collaborative Divorce is more expensive than traditional divorce: FALSE. Each of you have an attorney, and there is at least one neutral. However, working as a team allows us to reduce the redundancy that happens in a traditional divorce. We also can get done sooner and with less conflict, which reduces the cost as well. While we can’t guarantee anything, a collaborative divorce is typically less expensive than a litigated divorce.
- Financial Disclosures are not required: FALSE. We have to follow all the same financial disclosure rules as a traditional divorce. Actually, in Collaborative Law we often do more financial disclosures than in a litigated divorce. We work together to reach agreements that are fair for everyone, and that requires a thorough understanding of your financials.
- In Collaborative Divorce I will get less because I don’t have a “bulldog” lawyer: FALSE. A bulldog lawyer will usually cost you thousands more, and make your life more miserable. The traditional saying of “you get more flies with honey than with vinegar” is very true. The more that you work together to find something that is good for both of you, the more you will get, and the less money you will waste on attorneys. We want you to keep your money for yourself.
- We can agree to anything that we want to: Partly True. One of the benefits of Collaborative is that we can be very creative in our solutions. However, they still have to be approved by the judge. That means that your agreement still has to be equitable and the child support and maintenance must follow the law.
- Collaborative Law isn’t that different from traditional divorce with nice attorneys: FALSE. The team approach is fundamentally different than traditional attorneys. The traditional system has a paternalistic lawyer who will tell you what they think is best for you. You have to go through procedural steps for the court that are expensive, but don’t actually help you reach agreements. The attorneys are not specially trained on how to help get you the best settlement. The collaborative system is focused on you. Not the court, and not the attorneys. It provides attorneys who have expertise in getting a good settlement without conflict. It also ensures that both attorneys are committed to a good settlement instead of fighting.
- We can only do Collaborative Divorce if we agree on everything before we start: FALSE. If you agreed on everything before you could do mediation to have someone help you write up your agreement, and then file with the court. Collaborative is great for couples who know that they don’t agree on the settlement, but they do agree they want to be fair to each other.
